If We Went Down to the Woods Today
by DracoLurver-MrsFelton
Summary: Based on one of my A-Z drabbles. Draco Malfoy doesn't like any Gryffindor's, all except Hermione Granger of course, as they got married a year ago. But then WHY oh WHY is she asking him to come camping with them all! Rated T cuz I'm paranoid... DRAMIONE!
1. Double Straight

**A/N: WELCOME! Well, yeah. This is my very first **_**published**_** Dramione fic, based on one of my recent A-Z drabbles. Hoping this very failed (in my opinion, but I hope not in yours) story is funny or entertains you or whatever. This first chappie is just the intro to the rest of the story, setting out the scene or whatever… ENJOY! (and thanks to everyone that's added me to their fave authors or whatever from just three drables! You guys are awesome!)**

**Disclaimer: Don't own. Yeps.**

Hermione sat across the table from her old best friend, Harry Potter, at one of the fanciest and stylish restaurants in Diagon Alley; Double Straight, named after it's mound of both wizard and Muggle specialties from all around the world on the restaurant's menu.

"Odd name for a restaurant, isn't it? _Double Straight_. But it does have its own ring to it…" Hermione said, breaking the silence brought upon them as they flicked through the menus.

"Yes, I suppose it does. Never really thought about it like that though. That's all left for you 'Mione." Harry said, making Hermione chuckle. It was an early summer morning; May 12th, and Harry and Hermione, being two-thirds of the trio that defeated Voldemort, were wildly recognized by most passer-byers. The two didn't mind being famous, Harry of course already being used to it, but Hermione seemed to enjoy the attention she was getting. Most of the time.

The pair kept the conversation light and joyful, until the waiter appeared a few minutes later.

"Hi, I'm Jerome and I'll be taking your order." Jerome looked young, probably about as young as Harry and Hermione, making him nineteen or so, and he didn't bother to look up from his note pad as he said his opening line very dully, but when he did, his eyes opened in shock at the sight of the two celebrities. "Mr Potter!" He stammered. "Ms Granger! I didn't see you there. I am so sorry for my rudeness just before, I don't know-." Harry cut him off.

"It's fine. We don't mind." He said, smiling at him.

"No, no, no, it's not fine. I was rude and dull and I apologize greatly for it. Whatever can I do to regain your trust again?"

"Jerome, calm down." Hermione touched the panicking man's arm soothingly.

"Oh my God, she knows my name!" He screeched, jumping up and down on the spot like a crazed fan. "My name, my name! Hermione Granger knows my name!"

Harry leant over the table to whisper to Hermione. "We should have come for lunch. This guy's acting like a fan! Merlin!" He exclaimed under his breath, smiling a little.

"Yeah, and he needs to get his facts right, too. Not much of a fan if he doesn't know my last name." Hermione smirked happily. She could never seem to get over the fact that she married the person she did. Harry laughed slightly before trying to attract Jerome's attention again.

"Jerome? Can you just take our order now?" Harry said, asking politely and trying his hardest not to set him off again.

"Yeah, yeah, sure, Harry. Oh Merlin, I just called you Harry. I'm so sorry Mr Potter. That was unbelievably disrespectful of me. I apologize sincerely for my rudeness. I shall grab another waiter if you don't wish to see my face again. I totally understand." Jerome set off to leave, but Harry barked at him to return.

"We would just like to order our breakfast and not attract much attention. I'm starved and I would just like some food." Hermione explained when he returned dutifully.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know this was a private experience." He said, nodding at them like he understood. "Although, I always thought Mr Weasley was a better choice for you Ms Granger, but I'm sure Mr Potter will satisfy your needs."

Hermione looked at him, dumbfound, whilst Harry snorted behind her. "We're _not_ dating." She said sternly. "I am recently married. Now if you will _please_ just take our order."

"Married?" He squealed in delight. "Should I be calling you Mrs Weasley now?"

"No." Hermione glared.

"Oh, so you still prefer Ms Granger?" He looked at her apologetically.

"NO." Hermione was getting very agitated now.

"Sorry." Jerome looked at his feet. "So who's the lucky man?" He looked back up at them, smiling brightly.

"_Please_ just take our order." Harry urged.

"Not until you tell me who the lucky guy is." He looked very serious.

"Just _PLEASE_ take our order!" Hermione rose from her seat in rage.

"I'm sorry for offending you." Jerome looked tearful.

"Oh for God's sake! I married Draco Malfoy!" Hermione screeched, attracting many heads to the both of them.

"Nice going 'Mione." Harry snorted at her, glaring slightly.

"Sorry. This dumb-arse is getting on my nerves." Hermione whispered to him.

"Very obviously."

"Shut your hole." Hermione scowled at him before returning to look at Jerome. "Now, _I would like_ the stack of buttermilk pancakes. I'm missing my pancakes… no one makes them as good as the Muggles." Jerome nodded solemnly, staring at his note pad.

"Right. And I'll have the bacon and eggs." Harry said, nodding his head and handing Jerome his menu. "Oh, and can I have a glass or two of orange juice? Hermione?"

"Iced Mocha please." She said, nodding her head and handing Jerome her own menu.

"That'll take a few minutes. Please wait patiently." He recited, retreating back into the kitchen area.

"Wow. You really scared him off with that last comment, _Mrs Malfoy_." Harry said when he was safely in the kitchen.

"Shut up..." Hermione laughed, punching him lightly in the arm.

"Now, _Mrs Malfoy_," Harry couldn't stop waving it in her face, "we need to get back to business."

"We never started on business, _Mr Potter_."

"Right. Well, what do you think? Like the idea?" Harry looked please with himself.

"It's brilliant, Harry. Everyone's going to love it!" Hermione squealed. "Though, I'm not sure how Draco's going to react when I announce to him that we're going away with a bunch of ex-Hogwarts students, none of them besides him ex-Slytherin."

"Yes, well, that is something we have to factor into this. We need to just get out of all the commotion. I really hate it all sometimes. Yes, we did save the world from an evil manic," Harry grinned at Hermione, "but sometimes it's like we had no help what-so-ever, you know?"

"Harry, you just took the words right from my mouth. These dumb fans are insane."

"So do you have a reservation? I don't want to make it too uptight, but we can't just waltz in there and demand a place. Muggles will be watching our every move if we do."

"True, but don't worry. I have the perfect place. My parents used to take me there all the time when I was younger. My father used to love camping out with us. No reservations required, just the pure woods." Hermione explained. "Plus, before we set up camp, I can just cast a Muffliato spell for about a kilometre away."

"This oughta be fun, right?" Harry laughed. "I can just imagine Ron's face when we tell him that his precious Lavender has to live in the woods for a while." Hermione's face dropped at the mention of Ron's name. Him and Hermione were still a bit shaken from their break up a year ago, which had turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to her. She had fallen in love with the man she hated and within a year, commencing with hating each other any ending up married, she was truly in love.

"Oh wow, that'd be a show." Hermione laughed, and Jerome suddenly appeared with their plates full of delicious food piled onto them. "Thanks." She nodded at him, and he just looked at her solemnly.

"He's gone… different." Harry said, glancing back at Jerome.

"Don't bother, Harry. I know where this is going, but I won't allow it." Hermione said sternly, as if they were back in first year.

"Fine, Hermione. But just remember that you're not my mother. She's dead." Harry chuckled.

"I'm the closest thing you've got!" She said, standing up, and then realising what she'd screamed out and the fact that she stood up whilst saying it, sat back down and blushed awkwardly.

"No, my soon-to-be mother in law is the closest thing I've got to a mum." Harry said, making Hermione huff. "You're the second closest."

"Oh, Merlin, I'm so sorry! I forgot to congratulate you and Ginny!" Hermione gasped at herself.

"It's fine 'Mione. We only got engaged at dinner last night." Harry said.

"But, oh my God, it's been fourteen hours!" She exclaimed, then quickly checked her calculations under her breath. "Dinner at seven last night, now it's nine… four plus nine… no, no, five plus ten…no, five pl-"

"Never knew you to not be able to solve a maths problem." Harry noted, glancing at her puzzled expression.

"Yeah," Hermione blinked at him, bringing herself back to reality. "I've been feeling a little off lately."

"That's no good."

"You've got that right."

By this time they had completely forgotten about their food. Harry, who remembered first, asked Hermione if she'd like to start.

"No, Harry, you go ahead, I think I just need to make a quick trip to the bathroom. Sorry." Hermione stood and walked away from Harry and towards a waiter who pointed in the direction of the bathrooms.

Harry sat and waited for her, not wanting to be rude. Five minuted had passed, and Hermione still hadn't returned from the bathrooms, so Harry rose from his seat and was about to go and ask a waiter to go look for her, when suddenly she appeared out the doorway, looking ever so slightly pale.

She walked towards him. "Sorry. I was a little busy… ahh… throwing up? I really have no idea why though." She looked at him oddly.

"Yeah, well, at least you're OK now."

"I guess." Hermione shuddered slightly. "Let's eat. I need to get this vomit taste _out_ of my mouth. It's worse that those Every-Flavour-Beans Dumbledore used to be so into!" She laughed slightly before gesturing to Harry that she wanted to sit down now. He obliged and sat down at his place, looking at his food.

"Looks scrumptious, doesn't it?" He said, stabbing the bacon onto his fork.

"Yes, well, it surely does, but I've kind of lost my appetite." She looked disappointed. "But I could never really turn down a fresh batch of pancakes and an iced mocha, could I?" Hermione laughed, taking her own knife and fork in hands and cutting up small pieces for herself. She took a dainty bite before looking back at Harry.

"So yeah. It's all settled then? Camping with the buds?" He asked, making sure it was all final.

"The buds? Really, Harry?"

"Yes, well, what else are they?"

"The old Gryffindors?"

"But half of them won't _be_ Gryffindor. Look at your husband! Anything but a Gryffindor!"

"Gryffindor House is about _bravery_, right? Drake was sure brave enough to marry me! Look what his parents stand for!" Hermione retorted.

"We are not seriously having this argument." Harry rolled his eyes.

"You did not seriously just tell me that my husband is anything but brave! He has courage all through his veins!" She was standing now, screaming for the second time in fifteen minutes.

"Whoa, 'Mione. Settle down. You're making yourself stand out. _Again_."

She sat down, blushing. "Sorry. Not really myself at the moment." She took a sip from her ice mocha, and her insides melted in pleasure. "God, I haven't had one of these in ages." She moaned slightly.

"I've never had one before." Harry stated simply.

"_What?_ How can you say that?" Hermione gasped, but then her lips flew into a grin.

"I grew up with the Dursely's, remember?"

"Point taken. Well, back at home during the summer, Mum and I used to go out for coffee some days, and I'd tell her all the stories from being at Hogwarts and everything, and she always got a cup of black Earl Grey tea and I always got an Iced Mocha." Hermione smiled at the memories. "She always knew what to say when it came to unpredictable stories." She laughed loudly. "God, I wish I know where she was now."

"So you reversed that memory charm from before we went looking for those Horcruxes? I always knew you had it in you."

"Yeah, I did. Took it's time to work, but they came around." Hermione explained. "Finally."

"So where are they now?" Hermione's parents were always taking trips overseas, ever since their daughter was little, and Harry always seemed to enjoy the stories of her parents, as he never had any and Hermione's parents always seemed to lead the most interesting lives, despite their Muggle-hood.

"Cambodia, I think. I must write to them and ask." Hermione nodded her head, as if setting that as one of her main life goals.

"Sounds interesting. I've always wanted to go there…" Harry trailed off, his eyes lost in an idea.

"Harry, we're not going camping in Cambodia!" Hermione exclaimed.

"Sorry. Just an idea." He laughed.

"I'm not sure I believe that, but I guess I'll have too now." Hermione sipped her iced mocha again.

Both young adults kept the conversation light-hearted and playful, not wanting Hermione to freak out. Again.

Half an hour later, Hermione stood up, smiling.

"Well, I have to go. Draco's expecting me." She held her hand out to Harry across the table and shook his hand dantily.

"Sure?" Harry looked at her with a confused expression, shaking his best friend's hand awkwardly.

Hermione suddenly burst out laughing. "I'm sorry, but that's what Drake does when he has official meetings that I have to attend with him!" She giggled. "And I've _always_ wanted to try it!"

Harry laughed awkwardly as she picked her coat up and headed for the door. He followed behind her and before he left, as he turned to pay, he was face to face with Jerome.

"It's on the house." He muttered, not looking him in the eye. Harry said thank you and left the restaurant, hurrying to say a proper good-bye to Hermione, who was laughing on her Muggle mobile-phone about what she had told Harry before. It obviously was hilarious to her, but no one else really cared; they all had to step around her as she chattered away, oblivious.

"And that's when I told him!" She screeched, laughing so hard she doubled over.

**A/N: Review or die. Your choice. JKS JKS JKS. ILY all that review though… XD**


	2. Breakdown

**A/N: Not many people (ok, ONE) are reviewing, and that kinda disappointed me, but oh well. I'm writing this for me, not you, so you know… Ok, so this one is a little (or a lot) bit longer than the first one. It's a lot more dramatic, and I'm finding out how hard it is to write humour stories. Personally, I wish there were 3 different genres so I could have romance, drama and humour. This one's a little funny and a lot fluffy. Sorry about that. Anyways… enjoy! :D**

_Harry said thank you and left the restaurant, hurrying to say a proper good-bye to Hermione, who was laughing on her Muggle mobile-phone about what she had told Harry before. It obviously was hilarious to her, but no one else really cared; they all had to step around her as she chattered away, oblivious._

"_And that's when I told him!" She screeched, laughing so hard she doubled over._

"_Hermioneeeeeeeeee_!" Draco whined, three weeks later as he unknowingly carried a box of camping supplies to his Muggle car. "Why can't we just use magic to put this crap in the car? Why are we even putting it in the car in the first place? We're wizards, Hermione."

Hermione rolled her eyes at him. "_You're_ the wizard. I'm a witch. Get it right, Draco." Draco put on a pouty face, which made Hermione giggle. "And we're going away for a non-magic week." She explained, as if talking to a five year old.

"WHAT?" Draco exclaimed.

"I've told you before. You should listen when I speak to you."

"But _Hermioneee_-" Hermione cut him off before he could whine any more.

"Shut it Draco." She demanded, placing the sleeping bags she was holding into the back of their car; the car that Draco had only agreed to buy because Hermione convinced him that all wizards were driving cars these days, but truthfully, she knew it would be helpful one day, one way or another.

Draco gave her a hurt look, before turning on his - Italian leather, might I add - heel to go and collect the camping chairs. "But can't you at _least_ tell me where we're going. No magic for a week and you won't tell me where we're going. This is bullshit."

"Draco, if you weren't so against Muggles then you'd probably have worked it out by now." Hermione said, looking at him pitifully, and it was true. Draco Malfoy may have married a Muggleborn, but he was still not used to Muggles; the only ones he had ever spoken civilly with were her parents, and Hermione smiled and stopped walking as she remembered the day.

She and Draco had been walking in Diagon Alley, half a year ago, hands clasped together, weaving in and out of shocked witches and wizards. There they were. Two war veterans. Best friend of Harry Potter, bookworm, Gryffindor, Muggleborn Hermione Granger was walking and talking lovingly with son of two Death Eaters, ex-Death Eater, prat, Slytherin, pureblood Draco Malfoy. It was quite a sight to see. The dating couple were oblivious to the open mouths and the stares, and soon made their way into a local café. They sat at a small table out in the front courtyard, raised slightly from the rest of Diagon Alley. They sat like they were truly in love; hands clasped over the table, staring deeply into each other's eyes, speaking of how they wanted to spend their lives together. Hours later, still, they sat there, empty coffee cuts and half eaten pieces of different cakes scattered all over their little café table, but they had barely left each other's eye contact.

Hermione had brought her boyfriend there so he could meet with her parents, but after all those hours, she had forgotten. And so when they showed up at the café right next to them after passing through the Leaky Cauldron, but neither Hermione or Draco noticed as they stood there, waiting patiently for the pair to look up from their conversation. When Mr Granger finally had enough of listening to the pair blabber on, he coughed meaningfully and both heads whipped towards them.

"Dad!" Hermione jumped from her seat. "Mum! How long have you been there?" She hugged her parents tightly, then quickly remembering Draco and motioning for him to stand up.

"Long enough to understand that you two were made for each other." Mrs Granger said, looking at the two of them proudly. Hermione blushed and started to introduce Draco to her parents.

"Mum, Dad, this is Draco. Draco, this is well, my mum and dad." She said.

"Oh how _lovely_ it is to meet you! Hermione's told us that she was seeing someone but refused to tell us your name. How cheeky can she be sometimes?" Hermione's mother exclaimed, and Draco shook her hand awkwardly, but pulled back when she leant in for a hug.

"Nice to meet you, Draco. What did you say your last name was again? I'm sure I'll remember who you are if you tell us that. It's odd; in what, well, I think is the real world, everyone gets called by their first names at schools, however bad you hate them." Mr Granger gripped his hand tightly, and stared into Draco's eyes, but Draco had to break the gaze and look helplessly at Hermione.

"Oh, well, Dad, there's something I didn't really tell you. The reason I never really told you about him… well… he's only recently become a _happy_ part of my life, you might say." Hermione explained.

Mrs Granger let out a surprised "Oh!"

"Really? Well, I never really expected this." Her father looked at Draco with suspicion in his eye.

"Okay, this is going to shock you a little, but remember when I told you about Malfoy?"

"Oh yes. He was the one who used to taunt you all the time. Never got over the fact that you were born to non-magic people." Mrs Granger said. "I remember comforting you for days back in your first year when you returned for Christmas."

"Yes, well-"

"You don't mean to say that_ this_ is the Malfoy boy?" Mr Granger exclaimed.

Draco reached for Hermione's hand and quickly squeezed it tightly, glancing at her, his face paler than it usually was, his eyes filled with fear, although Hermione refused to believe that her father scared him. After all, he was the son of Lucius Malfoy, one of the select few in Lord Voldemort's inner circle. Many times, Draco had explained, that he'd come face to face with the Dark Lord himself, and that a little of the Cruciatus curse every once in a while was pretty normal for him. Surely Mr Granger didn't scare him after that.

"Well, yes, he is." Hermione said. "But Dad, before you freak out even more than you already have, I just want to let you know that I've forgiven him and all of our troubles have been put behind us." She watched as her father's eyes relaxed slightly.

"Well, at least you've gotten over your childhood rivalries." He sighed. "You treat my Hermione well, ok?" He said, turning to Draco.

"Yeah, of course. I'd never hurt her." He said, and quickly looked awkwardly at his feet, not wanting to cause any more trouble than he already had.

"Well, let's order dinner, okay?" She said, grabbing her wand and suddenly two more places appeared for her parents, and ushering them into their seats. Waving a waiter over, she asked for four menus, and slowly the night wore on, Draco only speaking when he was spoken to.

'This must have been how he grew up.' Hermione thought sadly. 'Only speaking when needed, in fear of getting punished.' Her smile faltered for a moment, before she drew her hands away from her plate and gripping Draco's under the table, giving him a reassuring glance. It had been an eventful day, and she had given so much for Draco to think about, but little did she know that the next day, after only half a year of being _civil_ to each other, he would propose to her.

"Granger?" Draco clicked his fingers in front of her face. "Earth to Granger?"

"What?" She said, quickly changing from the past to the present.

"That's everything. Except that box in your hands. Going to put it in the car or not?"

"Oh." Hermione glanced at him. "Sorry."

"No, it's okay."

"Right. Well." Hermione clapped her hands together. "Get in the car! Let the road trip begin!" She pointed at the car door. "Get in, fool!"

"Road trip? What?" Draco looked confused.

"Oh wow. You really were never educated about Muggles. And here I am thinking it was all an act!" Hermione exclaimed, but when Draco continued to look confused, she explained to him the meaning of a road trip. "Well, as we're not using magic _all week_," she raised her eyebrows at him, "we can't Apparate there. So we're going to use the car to get ourselves there. Don't worry, Draco, I'll drive. But it's going to take time; our destination is pretty far away."

"Any chance you'll tell me where our destination is?"

"Maybe."

"YES!" Draco jumped up and down in excitement.

"Just like a little girl." Hermione laughed.

"She's going to tellll meeeeeee! She's going to tellll meeeeeee!" He sang, and at this point Hermione was glad that they lived on his manor, away from prying eyes that would probably be looking at him like he was insane, if they could see him that is.

"Shut up, Malfoy. Get in the car." She said, giggling still from his childish act. She ran behind him and pushed him into the passenger seat, and closed the door behind him. Walking around to the other side of the car, she could hear his singing coming from the inside.

"She's going to tellll meeeeeee! She's going to tellll meeeeeee! Let's all rejoice, she's going to tellll meeeeeee!"

Hermione laughed out loud at this, climbing into the car and starting the engine. Draco was still singing as they made their way down the road and to the freeway, ignoring the odd looks they were getting from everyone that they passed; they lived in a part of town only occupied my magical people, the residents made sure of that, and to see a car rumbling down the road with a singing man inside was quite strange for them. Not that they hadn't seen strange before; the Malfoy residence had been there for centuries, almost all of its inhabitants being dark wizards to witches.

"So will you tell me _now_?" Draco asked, thirty seconds into their long trip.

"No."

"WHAT?" Draco tried to jump up, but was held back by his seatbelt. "Argh, dumb thing." He grabbed the seatbelt and pulled on it, trying to loosen it, but instead just pulled it tighter. Hermione could hear a small gasp for breath.

"God, I hate Muggles!" Draco exclaimed, still trying to fight his way out of the seatbelt. "They come up with ridiculous things like _seatbelts_. What good will it do?"

Hermione knew the question was rhetorical but wanted to keep her husband on his toes. "What if we have an accident? What will we do then?"

"I don't know." He said, then suddenly let go the seatbelt and sank back into his seat.

"Take a guess."

"St Mungos? They can fix anyone in seconds."

"No magic, remember?"

"Um…" He looked around the car, as if looking for someone to tell him the answer. "I don't know." He said solemnly. Hermione did a mock gasp.

"What? Draco Malfoy is stuck for an answer! I'd never believe it if I hadn't seen it myself." She teased him.

"Shut up, Granger." He snapped.

"What if I told you, 'no' to that question? Hm?"

Draco rolled his eyes. He knew Hermione was just trying to mess with him. "You should shut up, 'Mione. I know things about you I'm positive Potter and the Weasel won't want to know." He taunted.

"Don't call Ron the Weasel!" Hermione blushed at the thought of her ex-boyfriend. "And open your mouth on this trip about _anything_ and you won't want to live another day." She hissed.

"Sure, sure. Because you'd hurt _me._"

"I would!"

"Shut it Granger, you know you wouldn't."

Hermione fell silent.

"So are you going to tell me where we're going yet?"

"No." Hermione kept her eyes firmly focused on the road, but she couldn't hold in a twinkle.

"Please?" Draco begged.

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Pretty please?"

"No."

"Hermione, I've got secrets about you, remember?" He taunted her.

"No."

Draco ignored her comment. "I'm sure Potter and Weasley won't want to know some of these things I've got all stored in my brain."

"No."

He ignored her again. "Like how yesterda-"

"FINE!" She screamed. "Fine, I'll tell you! Just _shut up_! Merlin, you talk a lot, don't you?"

"Yes, well."

"Urgh."

"And?" He looked expectantly at her. "Where are we going?"

"We're going _camping_, Draco. Like Muggles. To make sure you finally understand them."

"WHAT?" Draco again tried to jump from his seat. "Camping? Like _Muggles_? Please tell me you at _least_ had the sense to bring our good tent." He continued to struggle in his seatbelt, occasionally pulling on it and knocking the breath out of himself.

"Like _Muggles, _remember? They sleep in tents that are the same size inside and out."

"No, no, no, no…" Draco was looking at his lap, shaking his head. "No, no, no, no." He muttered. "Muggles, Muggles, Muggles, Muggles… no, no, no, no."

"What's wrong?" Hermione glanced at him. "Drake, are you ok?"

"No, no, no, no. Muggles… no, no, no, no." His voice quivered as he spoke, his eyes wide.

"Draco, are you… _scared_ of Muggles?" Hermione touched him comfortingly on the arm.

Draco's head snapped back and glared at her. "What the hell is _that_ supposed to mean?" He spat.

"You know, just a little frightened of them?"

"No!" He exclaimed, but didn't dare look Hermione in the eye, and she could tell he was lying.

"Are you sure? It's ok to be frightened, Draco. I'm scared of ridiculous things; like irons. I burnt my hand from one when I was eight and haven't looked at one since." She giggled at her stupidity.

Draco was quick to change the subject off himself. "What are irons?" He asked.

"They're Muggle things used to flatten out creases in clothing. But I can see you trying to change the subject, Draco. I'm not the smartest witch of our day for nothing.

"I am _not_ scared of Muggles, Hermione."

"How thick do you think I am, Draco?"

"I'm _not_!"

"Come _on_."

"No! Seriously!"

"Draco, it's okay to be scared of things! Admit it! Muggles scare you!" Hermione looked at him with sad eyes, and touched his arm again.

"They do _not_!"

"Please? For me? Just spit it out."

"Let it _go_!"

"I'm just trying to help you here! It's ok to be frightened."

"No."

"Draco. Please."

"NO!"

"Please?"

"They're just so _insanely frighteninggggggggggggg_!" Draco had given in and was wailing by now.

Hermione looked at him, tears streaming down his face, and she quickly decided to pull over and comfort him about his… tragedy? Truthfully, Hermione didn't think Draco would break though that easily. When she was safely on the side of the freeway, Hermione got out of the drivers' seat and walked around to the other side of the car. Opening the passenger seats' door, she found her big, bold, courageous Draco crumpled into a little ball on his seat, crying his eyes out. Hermione, who had found it was starting to rain, clambered onto Draco's seat and sat on his lap, putting her arms around him.

"Shhh, shhh, don't cry baby. It's okay. We're going to be okay."

Draco buried his face in the nook of Hermione's shoulder, taking in the soft scent of her caramel coloured hair. Hermione hugged him tightly, something she was sure his mother never did when he was a boy.

"I don't know…" Came a muffled whisper from her shoulder, and Hermione hugged him tightly as he struggled to get the right words out. "I don't know… why…" He sniffed, pulling back slightly to speak clearer. "They just…" He whimpered.

Hermione pushed him back into her shoulder gently. "I know, Drake, I know." She hugged him tightly as he sobbed. She suddenly thought of a little speech to make as he cried, and off she went.

"Sometimes," she began, "we find things scary. Or frightening. Or just so unusual it makes us want to scream. But sometimes," she took a breath, "we just have to get it over with. Like this camping trip? You may be scared, but no Muggles will be around there. It'll just be me, you, Harry, Ginny and a ton of other wizards who _all_ fought in the war against You-Know-Who." Hermione wasn't scared of the name Voldemort, but knew that with the past experiences Draco had, she was best not to say the name. "No one can come and hurt you, and I doubt Muggles will come near us at all. When I told you that we weren't using magic, I just wanted you to see the way Muggles do it. That way, maybe, you would understand how they work, and finally let go of your hatred towards them. Don't you worry, babe. I have our wands in my purse. I won't let anyone touch you. Ever. You're my Draco, my Drakey, my Dragon. And don't you ever forget that." Hermione looked around the world for something that would separate her and Draco, who didn't seem to want to let go of her.

She patted his back again, hugged him tightly, and then pulled back. His face was tear-stained and blotchy, and paler than it usually was. His platinum blonde hair hung at odd angles, and his silver eyes looked scared.

"Thanks." Was the only word he seemed to be able to get out of his mouth.

"It's fine. I love you Drakey. Don't forget it." She kissed him lightly on the lips before smiling sorrowfully and getting back out of the car and back into her seat. As she got in, he smiled at her, and grabbed a blanket from his feet, shivering slightly and staring out the window. It was the Muggle world; a world he hardly ever entered, a world he knew little about. So much so, that it scared him to tears. Hermione knew not to tease him about it, not to hang it over his head like she did with other secrets of his. She knew it, and she accepted it.

Turning the car back on again, Hermione made her way back onto the freeway and started again with the long drive to the campsite her parents used to take her to when she was just five years old. She smiled.

**A/N: It's very hard to write humour stories… but it was just so fluffy (personally) but yeah! I hope you liked! R&R PLS!**


	3. Fruit Ninja

**A/N: Sorry for no updates, my vair, vair limited amount of readers. I've had a lot on my mind… anyways! Here's your update if you can be bothered reading it… Hope you like!**

_As she got in, he smiled at her, and grabbed a blanket from his feet, shivering slightly and staring out the window. It was the Muggle world; a world he hardly ever entered, a world he knew little about. So much so, that it scared him to tears. Hermione knew not to tease him about it, not to hang it over his head like she did with other secrets of his. She knew it, and she accepted it._

_Turning the car back on again, Hermione made her way back onto the freeway and started again with the long drive to the campsite her parents used to take her to when she was just five years old. She smiled._

After Draco's earlier breakdown, the couple sat happily in the car, purely enjoying each other's company. After about twenty minutes of staring out the barrier that separated Draco's greatest fear and himself (the car window, which Hermione explained to him that it could be wound down, but reassured him that it was impossible to open from the outside), Draco decided to once more start questioning Hermione about the camping trip.

"So." He started, looking at her. "What are we going to do on this camping trip if we can't use our wands?"

"You'll see." She kept her eyes on the road.

"Really? I'll see? Interesting, that is." He had a slight piece of amusement in his voice.

"Oh, yes, well, you will. Don't fret." Hermione reassured him.

"Me? Fretting? Preposterous! Never in a million years… _you_ on the other hand… well, that's another story."

"Are you sure you want to go down that road?" Hermione sent him a threatening glare.

"But we're on this road, aren't we? What did you call it earlier? The free-road?"

Hermione rolled her eyes. "The _freeway_ and there are many, many different roads that I could travel down with you in the car. Not that _I _have to go with it. I told you, from now on, I'm in control of our wands, remember? I could hex you all the way to the campsite and back if I wanted." She kept her eyes firmly fixed on the road. "Now shut it, the rain's coming down too hard for me to talk to you and drive at the same time. Unless you want to crash, of course." Draco opened his mouth to say something, but closed it again, quickly deciding against it. "Exactly." Hermione nodded. "I thought so." Draco turned his attention to outside the window, watching the car wiz past the rain and road. The rain was coming down very hard.

"So who's coming with us?" He asked absent-mindedly a few moments later.

"Oh, just a few friends." Hermione answered.

"No names?" Draco's head swivelled towards his wife.

"Oh, you want names…" She trailed off, staring out the front window of the car, unblinking.

"Yes, names, Hermione. They are how one tells apart two or more people through speech with another."

"Oh. Right. Well, yes, names. Uhh, well, Harry and Ginny of course, and probably Seamus, Dean, Neville, Luna, possibly-"

"_Last_ names, Hermione. I'm not a Gryffindor like you, remember?'

"How could anyone ever let me forget…" Hermione muttered bitterly. "Ok, last names. Well, Harry Potter and Ginny Weasley-"

"I'm not an idiot Granger. I know who Harry is."

"Well you asked!" Hermione raised her hands defensively. "Seamus Finnigan, Dean Thomas, Neville Longbottom, Luna Lovegood, George and Angelina Weasley will probably come too, which means Lee Jordan is definitely on the list. Parvarti Patil most likely, with her sister, Padma. You know? Ravenclaw? Anyway, Katie Bell is a maybe, as is a few different Hufflepuffs; Hannah Abbot, Michael Corner, people like that. I've no idea who else Harry's invited; he said he'd work that out, not me. Oh, and Ron and Lavender Brown-"

Draco cut her off. "Brown? Lavender Brown's coming? Oh, Merlin, Hermione! Let me out of this car!" He roared.

"I take it you don't like Lavender? Join the club." Hermione blushed slightly from being rude to her ex-roommate. "Sorry." She muttered.

"Oh, shit. Get me out of this car! I'm not going camping with _Brown_." Draco struggled in his seatbelt, forgetting how to unlock it. "HERMIONE!" He demanded. "GET ME OUT OF THIS BLOODY BELT-SEAT!"

Hermione sat, dumbstruck and muffling giggles, as she watched Draco struggled. She quickly snapped her eyes back to the road and continued concentrating. Though she was not telling Draco this, she _had _put a few safety spells on the car so that crashing would be almost impossible.

"Draco, please calm down. It won't be too bad."

Draco's head whipped towards Hermione. "Don't you play games with me." He hissed. "Who else is going to be there?" His eyes turned to slits, and Hermione shank in her seat a little, appreciating Harry for coming face to face with the world's scariest wizard on multiple occasions. If this was _Draco_ scary, she'd hate to see Lord Voldemort.

"Oh. Well. Uh…" Hermione looked around awkwardly. "Just about everyone I said there. Harry and I will be almost running it, setting up activities and what not. It won't be like we're three though. We'll probably just go for walks and roast marshmallows and what-not."

"Roast marshmallows?" Draco looked confused.

"Build a fire, find a stick, put the marshmallow on the end of the stick, hover the stick above the fire until the marshmallow is cooked. It's really fun."

"I'm sure it is." He said sarcastically.

"Oh, shut it. Stop your complaining. It won't be _that_ bad."

"Hermione, I became a Death Eater and V-" He stopped himself, taking a deep breath before continuing on. "Voldemort-" He stopped again and Hermione looked at him with such joy it was amazing; he had just said the name of the man that had ruined his childhood for him in way that was just so horrific it was ridiculous. "And _this_ is starting to sound worse." He smiled lightly.

"Don't be silly, Draco. It'll be fine. And if it's too bad, I might think about coming home, ok?" She reassured him.

"You're just saying that. We won't go home until the Friday and you know it."

"You… you don't _know_ that." Hermione said, stunned, turning to look at him. "Now _shhhh_. I need to concentrate."

Draco huffed and rolled his eyes, crossing his arms and staring back outside. He couldn't believe his luck; getting forced to spend a week, from Saturday till Friday, with a bunch of Gryffindors and _now_ Hermione tells him that not only will it be a bunch of regular Gryffindors, which are bad enough, but _Brown _was going to be there. How could she just accept that her ex-boyfriend, the man who broke her heart so much that Draco had quite a lot of trouble repairing it, was going to be there with his horrible, snotty girlfriend? But then again, he supposed Hermione didn't have much say in this; if they were going to be camping with Gryffindors, the Weasel surely had to come.

Five minutes passed and once more, Draco was become impatient. "How long _now_?" He demanded.

"Oh, would you just let it go? We'll be there in a few hours."

"_Hours_?"

"Merlin, yes! How many times do I have to go over this with you?" Hermione rolled her eyes.

"Am I supposed to just, what, sit here?" Draco stamped his feet on the floor of the car like a five year old.

"Well, yes. Read a book, Drake. Do nothing. Talk to me without _yelling at me_." Draco rolled his eyes.

"As if I'm doing any of that."

"Ok, fine! I have a few Muggle items in the back that I can get for you. An iPad that I bought for us, a portable DVD player. Anything that interests you?

"I thought we weren't going to use magic?"

"That's right; not magic. These aren't magic, but these aren't things that are what Muggles _normally_ take camping with them, unless of course they want to be engulfed in electricity the whole time. Personally, I think it defeats the purpose, but that's just me. See, there, they're in that bag right there." She pointed behind her seat blindly.

"Thanks." Draco mumbled, turning around to grab the old plastic bag that at some point had held the weekly shopping list. He picked it up and placed it on his lap, searching through it. On the top was a box of chocolate chip cookies, followed by strawberries and a few sandwiches. Underneath he found a large, slim, black rectangle with a rubber blue case.

"That's an iPad. To turn it on, just click the little button at the bottom, ok?" Hermione glanced at him.

"Yeah." He muttered, clicking the button. Soon the screen was alive, with a large background moving picture of him and Hermione. "Wait, I thought Muggle pictures didn't move?" He asked.

"No saying I didn't use a little magic on it _before_ we left." Hermione stated simply.

"Oh." He said, his attention now on the small icons on the screen. _Plants vs. Zombies_, _Angry Birds_, _Cut the Rope_, _Fruit Ninja_, _Doodle Jump_, _The Moron Test_ and _Tap Tap Revenge 4 _filled the screen. "Uh, Hermione? How do you choose one?" He looked confused, to which Hermione laughed.

"Oh, just tap it, silly." She replied.

Draco didn't respond, but did tap one of the icons; _Fruit Ninja_. "How is this supposed to work?"

Hermione giggled. "You're supposed to slice the fruit in half with you're fingers."

"That's ridiculous!" Draco exclaimed.

"Well, Sweetie, that's the whole point."

"Fine." He said, clicking on 'New Game' and then 'Arcade Mode'. Suddenly he was faced with bunches of fruit flying at him on the screen. He tried to slash them with the side of his palm, as if really slicing fruit with his hand.

"Your _fingers_, Drake."

He quickly removed his hand and replaced it with his fingers. Soon, he was slicing the fruit like nobody's business, and with that, jerking around in his seat with every slice, muttering to himself.

"Strawberry, banana, apple, Merlin, pineapple, you fell too soon!" He growled, and Hermione kept her eyes firmly fixed on the road as she tried not to laugh. Once Draco's minute had passed, he hadn't given up yet. "New highscore! Yes! Oh, this is so going down!" He yelled, slicing at the button with the word 'replay' on it. "Hermione, how long until we get there?" He asked, half way through the next game, hunched over the iPad screen.

"A few hours, remember?" She expected him to fall back into his seat and groan, but he did the exact opposite.

"Good. Really good. This game is addicting."

"I can see that." She chuckled. "Oh, and you know there are different ways to play. Right now you're on Arcade, but I think there's something like Zen mode too. You'll have to check yourself."

"You're telling me this _now_?" Draco screamed. "Okay, wait for me to finish this game."

**A/N: Shorter than usual, but oh well. I thought it was kinda cute, how last chapter Draco's having a fit about Muggles being scary and then all of a sudden he's WAYYYYY too far in Fruit Ninja… anyways! :D R&R!**


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